20 Jul 2014 at 1:53 AM ∞

Probably confident but completely insecure

Every now and then my insecurities spring out of the box. I constantly bring up my anxiety issues here on my blog, so I have decided to talk about this once and for all.

You know, there is always a time when I feel like my whole self is drowning. All these phrases about me being a tall, thin woman–oh not only those, but other labels thrown around me–essentially pushed by people down my throat… I have to act like I don’t care or I will just cover my animosity, but really, I always find them offensive.

When people tell me, “You know what? You’re beautiful but–” that’s when it hits the most. For every compliment there’s always a “but” argument. Can’t it just be “You’re beautiful” period because she really is? How am I supposed to form any sort of opinion about how I look? How am I supposed to love who I am when all I know of myself is what I hear through other people’s mouths?

I smile, momentarily, I smile because it’s ridiculous how affected I was with other people’s idea when I know I did nothing wrong – this is who I am, not everyone’s perception of me. And everyone is different and everyone is perfect in their own way. I have been this way ever since. I felt stupid for not seeing myself as I really am.

So I am starting to think everyday one thing I like about myself. I tell myself how much natural beauty is so very beautiful. I have come this far and it’s too far along this positive path to turn around. I am learning everyday that I am strong and I’m the only one who can tell myself any different.

Real women are fat. And thin. And both. And neither. And otherwise. I owe no explanations for my flaws. I don’t have to justify my mistakes, my past, my insecurities. I’m tall and lithe but I don’t need to be fixed. Society’s narrow-minded view of beauty is what’s broken.

14 Jul 2014 at 9:25 PM ∞

I will only let you touch me if your hands are so full of intention that every brush of your palm feels like you’re writing a novel on my skin.
- Azra.T “Braille”

14 Jul 2014 at 9:37 AM ∞

{ Panglao Island x Virgin Island x Balicasag Island }

Believe it or not, it’s my first local travel out of Luzon! And was it amazing. Bohol was amazing! Even after the wrath of earthquakes and typhoons, beauty stood still. Thank you, Bohol! Thank you, universe!

13 Jul 2014 at 3:03 PM ∞

Travelogue: Wrecking Bohol 2014

13 Jul 2014 at 3:01 PM ∞

Bohol 2014
June 19-21

{ Chocolate Hills / Loboc River Cruise / Baclayon Church / Panglao Island / late night swims / dolphin watching / hanging bridge / fire dancers / Man-made forest / Butterfly Sanctuary / aeta lyf / fave friends }

13 Jul 2014 at 2:57 PM ∞